De-escalating Negative Interactions

There is no doubt that sex work comes with risk. As workers we expose ourselves to these dangers every day and trying to navigate constant mind games and tricks that clients can play is one of the most mentally draining parts of our job.

Anyone who says sex work is the easy job clearly hasn’t worked in the adult industry and just fuels the common stereotypes we all love to hate. 

Worker burnout is real. It is tricky to navigate, and even harder to overcome, so I have written a small list to help keep your negative interactions minimal and to help ease the emotional weight that comes with these situations

During the booking process-

  • Put your customer service hat on and avoid negative language (i know it can be tricky sometimes) 
  • Never lower yourself to their standards, if they call you something untoward, a simple “I’m sorry you feel that way, unfortunately we won’t be a good match, have a great day” will burn them so much more than a negative response. I truly believe some clients feed off retaliation from workers after trying to wind them up. Be the bigger person. Your mental health will thank you for it.
  • Take your time, if something is going on in your personal life and you’re swamped with enquires, don’t be afraid to send an acknowledgement text saying that you have seen their message and you will get back to them with appropriate details by a certain time. Just make sure you stick to those timelines or send another message to advise a delay. 

In an Incall booking

  • Try to limit disagreements in person, by stipulating your terms of service, your dos and don’ts and boundaries in writing via email or text message and/or redirecting them to your website with a direct link that has these details.
  • Try to limit alcohol or drug use in your space, most escalations do occur when a client is under the influence. Whilst you cannot eliminate client use prior to arrival, you can control consumption whilst with you.

In an Outcall booking

  • Like above, get your terms of service, boundaries and expectations confirmed prior to your arrival in writing
  • Keep all your belongings in one spot, your bag, clothes, money etc should all be together and easy to grab quickly if you needed to. Do not leave items sprawled across rooms.
  • If substance abuse is apparent from the beginning, set out a notice when you arrive that if things escalate you will leave (this generally warns them to be nice). 

All in all there is no way to cover every potential interaction. But using some of these pointers does help set a standard that your clients should respect and follow. Most disagreements in escorting generally centre around money and services. If you set these expectations out clearly in the beginning, you’re limiting a lot of the risk before the booking even begins. 

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